


heartlines

by withoutwords



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Concussions, Fluff, Getting Together, Injury, M/M, Pining, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25199464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: Steve calls Danny early, voice gritty and tired. It’s been no more than eight hours since his plane left, and Danny tries not to mull over what that means exactly. Especially since Steve doesn’t want anyone to know where he is.“Isn’t this a vacation?” Danny asks, fighting the urge to sound as annoyed as he feels. “Or was that just a cover for some top secret mission? What is it called this time, Eleanor Rigby?”“I’m so glad I called to let you know I’m here safe, Danny.”Five conversations they have while Steve is away. And one more.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 27
Kudos: 295





	heartlines

**Author's Note:**

> Just a random idea I had. Please note that I’m really unfamiliar with the recent canon. Also, this totally disregards the quarantine situation we’re currently in. Hope you enjoy X

Steve calls Danny early, voice gritty and tired. It’s been no more than eight hours since his plane left, and Danny tries not to mull over what that means exactly. Especially since Steve doesn’t want anyone to know where he is. 

“Isn’t this a vacation?” Danny asks, fighting the urge to sound as annoyed as he feels. “Or was that just a cover for some top secret mission? What is it called this time, Eleanor Rigby?”

“I’m so glad I called to let you know I’m here safe, Danny.”

“Here, where’s here?”

Steve sighs. “On the mainland.”

“Oh, you’re a wealth of information you are.”

Danny almost goes on, but the sound of a woman's voice rings out in the background, quickly followed by Steve muffling the phone. Danny's guts twist in a familiar way, but he pushes it down until it’s just a bad taste in his mouth. 

“Sorry,” Steve says when he gets back on the line. “We’re still getting into the hotel room.”

“We?” Danny can’t help but choke out, not sure he's prepared for whatever this revelation is. 

“Oh, yeah, Cath - Cath’s got some leave and wanted to come along.”

“Cath.”

Danny’s not sure if Steve being with Cath is better or worse than him being with some random woman he met in an airport or a hotel lobby. At least with a stranger Steve has a chance of getting out in one piece.

“Yeah. You wanna say hi, or …?”

“No, no, you’re both probably looking forward to getting some sleep.”

“Well I slept on the - ”

Danny doesn’t let him finish, interrupting with, “I gotta go, anyway, some of us still have to work.”

“Alright, well, …” Steve’s voice trails off.

“Just …” Danny sighs. It’s so much harder when there’s all this distance between them. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

Steve huffs. “I won’t.”

*

Danny’s shoulder-deep in paperwork when Steve calls again, and he feels his shoulders start to relax just to see Steve’s name flash on his phone. He’s drunk, which Danny can forgive, but he seems a little maudlin with it, which grates.

(Why didn’t he just stay here and get drunk?)

“How’s things there?” Steve asks, once he’s dodged all Danny’s questions about where he’s ended up now.

“The same,” Danny drones, throwing his pen down in surrender. “My kids won’t listen to me, and everyone else just pretends they do, and they cancelled my Hulu subscription so I’ll never find out what happens at the end of The Handmaid’s Tale.”

Steve pauses. “You’ve never watched that show, have you?”

“Well, no, but that’s not the point. I might have, one day.”

When he laughs it mostly sounds honest, and Danny’s glad. They both knew that Steve disappearing wasn’t going to be some quick-fix to everything he’d been through in his life. But Danny hopes that he’s at least okay. That he will get through.

“Seriously, though. How is everyone?”

They spend the next half an hour talking idly - though Danny does most of the talking, telling Steve about Grace’s school issues and Charlie’s sudden love for 70s and 80s hair bands. (Danny's proud to say Bon Jovi is top of the list). He tells him about Five-0 but leaves out the worst bits; managing to make Steve laugh a little more and feeling it like warmth in his lungs.

It’s nice to know he can still be that for Steve.

“And what about you?”

“What?”

“Well you’ve told me about everyone else. How are  _ you _ doing?”

Danny groans which just elicits another little chuckle from Steve. “I’m fine. The same as always.” 

“The same? Because last time I saw you there was the whole thing with the being kidnapped and getting shot - ”

“Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.”

“Do I? You’ve been through a lot this year, man. I just wanna know you’re okay.”

Danny can’t fight the urge to scoff, but he doesn’t say anything. At least not the things he’d like to. Steve’s right, it’s been hell, and a time in his life he’d rather just forget. But it’s never been Steve’s job to fix it. 

So why does it feel like it is?

“I promise I’m fine. They’ve still got me going to these counselling sessions, and I’ve got my kids, and I’m camped out in this massive house right by the beach, you might’ve heard of it.”

“Oh yeah, maybe.”

“Plus, there’s Eddie. I think he’s starting to like me more than you.”

Steve does a mocking gasp, Danny grinning with the playfulness of it. “You take that back!"

“Well,” Danny says with a shrug. “I’m impossible to resist.”

“Sure, Danno,” Steve drawls, so Danny sends him a photo of the two of them cuddling on the couch.

He’s got to get his wins where he can. 

*   
  


They were caught in a shoot out at a produce market when Danny copped a length of piping to the head and wound up in hospital with concussion. Unfortunately not the type of concussion that Danny would usually wave off; where he’d just take a couple more ibuprofen with his coffee.

He’s in bed, in the dark, when Steve calls again.

Danny puts it on speaker.

“You sound weird,” Steve tells him, so Danny deflects.

“You sound happy,” he says, which is true. 

“Yeah, man. I’m doing good.”

Danny tries not to let that bother him. He hates that it bothers him. He  _ wants _ Steve to be happy. “What’ve you been up to?”

“Uh, well, I finally caught up with Chin and Kono.”

“Oh, so you’re in California.”

“I  _ was _ in California,” he argues, and Danny can hear the smile in his voice. “Was.”

“Right. And how are they?”

Danny feels his head throbbing while Steve talks, but he hasn’t got the heart to cut him off. Mostly, because Steve’s his best friend. The only person in his life he can just let go and be himself with. But also because if he says goodbye, he’s not sure the next time Steve will get in touch again. And it’s already too long between calls.

Danny feels Steve’s absence like the ache in his head.

“You sure you’re okay?” Steve asks after he’s been prattling away for a while. 

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“As if you’d tell me if you weren’t.”

Danny smiles to himself. When he says, “It’s not like you could do much about it,” he really doesn’t mean to sound so bitter. Except it does, and it’s followed by a heavy silence.

“I’m always here if you wanna talk, Danny. You know that.”

“Yeah, of course, I didn’t mean …”

Danny trails off, because when he stops and thinks about it - and being concussed gives you a lot of time to just stop and think - he’s not sure he doesn’t mean it. 

Steve changes the subject and Danny doesn’t mind.

He lies in the dark and listens to his voice.

*

Time off work means more time with the kids, which Danny can’t begrudge. Grace lets him take her clothes shopping, and he spends a whole day putting together the most ridiculous constructions of Legos with Charlie that he has barely any room left on his bedroom floor.

He’s just gotten home from dropping the kids at their mom’s, when his phone flashes with another call from Steve.

It’s only been a few days. “Hi?”

“Seriously, Danny?” Steve bellows through the phone, Danny rolling his eyes. Obviously he knows about the injury.

“Nice to speak to you again so soon, Steven. How’s things?”

“A Grade 3 concussion?”

“Who ratted me out?” Danny drawls, collapsing onto his couch. He’s only been watching a little bit of TV, so instead he turns his music on to have some background music that isn’t the sound of Steve’s teeth grinding. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t feel like talking about it.”

“You didn’t … it’s not like I’d interrogate you, Danny. It’s just nice to know when my partner is admitted to hospital with a concussion because some psycho decided to swing around a piece of pipe - “

“Steve, stop.”

“No, I won’t - ”

“You’re hurting my head.” It’s only half true. He’d already had a headache, and he just really wants Steve to stop talking. “Anyway, I was lucky. No amnesia, and no long term damage. I was just out of it for a while and I have to spend a couple of weeks resting. Nothing worse than you had every other day.”

“That’s not the point!”

“Yes, it is!” Danny argues and raises his voice, against his better judgement. “You always downplay your injuries because you quote unquote, don’t want people to worry. You always lie about things that happen to you because it’s fine, you’re okay, it could be worse. Always.”

“That’s - ” Steve tries again, but Danny won’t let him.

“You’re supposed to be taking a break, right? A break from Hawaii, and your past, and fuck,” Danny groans into his hand, “I don’t know, Steve, the taskforce? The work? So excuse me if I didn’t think to bother you with some story about a scumbag with a better than average swing who thought my head resembled a baseball. I’ll remember to tell you next time I go to hospital and you’re miles away with some guilt complex despite the fact that you’re the one who left.”

“I didn’t leave you, Danny,” Steve says, once Danny’s finished his rant. His voice sounds a little brittle, which somehow makes Danny angrier.

“Uh, I don’t see you anywhere.”   


“I didn’t - you know that you and the kids mean more to me than anything. I didn’t leave you, or Mary, or Five 0, I’d never …”

Danny suddenly feels a guilt of his own, swallowing down on all the pathetic, selfish things he wishes he could say. You should have stayed, or you should have taken me with you or … he doesn’t know. He isn’t sure. Nothing feels right.

“Look, I’m just … I’m sore, and I’m tired, alright? I need to go to bed.”

“Danny.” This time the sound of Steve’s voice does hit him hard. Danny closes his eyes against it, a hand curling into a fist.

“Call me another time, would you?” 

He hangs up.

*

Danny sits on his shame for the fifteen days and something hours it takes for Steve to call again. It’s not that he hadn’t meant it, or even that he wants to take it back - it’s just that he let Steve leave, he accepted his choice. It wasn’t fair to try and make him feel bad for it now.

It wasn’t fair at all.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Danny says when he picks up the phone - back sitting behind his desk. “I said some shitty things, and you didn’t deserve it. I was just feeling sorry for myself, and I needed someone to take it out on and you were there, so I … I’m sorry, yeah?”

Steve’s silent for a long moment. “It’s okay, Danny.”

“No, it’s not.”

“It is,” Steve tells him fiercely, though he sounds more exhausted than angry. Dany can just imagine him sitting there, all but rolling his eyes at Danny. “I asked you to tell me how you were. I wanted you to.”

“Yeah, but not like that. I don’t want you to feel guilty for going away for a while.”

“I know that, man.”

Danny sighs, sinking further into his chair. It’s been a quiet day, the rest of the team had gotten out early - Danny can’t be more glad for the privacy. “I’m doing better, by the way. Back on light duties for a while.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah. And what about you? Enjoying another beautiful part of our country? Or have you and Cath moved on to more foreign pastures, since that’s your specialty.”

“Cath left ages ago,” Steve tells him, confused. “She had to get back to her work.”

“Oh.” Danny feels the words fizz in his chest. He tamps it down and scolds himself for being so selfish. “Is that - are you alright?”

Steve huffs something that maybe resembles a laugh. “Of course, Danny. We both know that we’re never getting back together. We’re not about to torture each other like that.”

Danny bites down on a bitter comment about who always tortured who in that relationship. “Right. So you’re by yourself?”

“I’m visiting people. Old friends.”

“And no clues? North, East?”

“I’ll tell you all about it when I get back.”

There’s another stretched out silence. Danny had promised himself he’d watch his words from now on, not pressure Steve or get into petty arguments about who owes who what. But he can’t stop himself when he asks, “When will that be?”

Steve sighs. “I donno. Just feeling things out.”

“Okay.”

“But I  _ am _ coming back.”

“I know.”

“Hawaii is still home,” he goes on, and Danny hopes he's not saying it to convince himself. “You, the kids, Five-0. It’s where I belong.”

Danny’s throat starts to clog, hearing Steve say that - he rests his elbows on his desk to hold himself up, fighting back all the emotions. Of the last few weeks, the months that Steve’s been gone - the ten plus years of being in this place, and being Steve’s.

“Steve,” Danny starts to say, Steve making a humming noise at him to go on. “I’m sorry. For saying that shit. I guess I was punishing you for … for leaving.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, because … I just miss you. Fuck, I miss you a lot.”

The phone makes a muffled sound again and the line goes quiet for a moment. Danny knows he’s still there, and doesn’t push. He just waits, like always. He’s gotten so good at waiting. 

“Yeah, Danno,” he finally says, voice thick like Danny’s. “I miss you, too.” 

*

There’s a thin mist of rain settled across the island, and no end in sight. Danny’s at home, and the kids are away with Rachel for the weekend, and the only thing on TV is a forgettable football game from last season that Danny can’t be bothered to switch off. Eddie whines at his feet, clearly clued on to the fact that this is going to be the theme of their weekend.

Danny’s phone rings. He’s not sure why he feels anxious to see Steve’s name appear on the screen.

“Hey.”

“Hi, Danny. Are you at home?”

“Yeah? Why? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, just wanted to check in with you. I can’t talk right now, alright?”

“You called me!” Danny protests, but Steve’s already hung up, leaving Danny to just stare at his phone for a solid ten seconds and wonder why he ever missed the asshole.

No, that’s a lie.

Since the last time they spoke, Danny thinks he’s probably been missing Steve more. It had been good to tell him the truth, and good to hear that Steve was feeling homesick too. That maybe he missed Danny almost as much.

Only now that he knew that, he resented the distance even more. Every day he worked with the team, or chatted with Lou, or spent a day with the kids - every time he was with the people he loved, he realised that there was always something missing.

And it was Steve.

Danny didn’t know what it meant to rely on, to  _ need _ another person - another man - so much. He survived without family for months and years; he survived without intimacy for just as long. But living without Steve brought a new level of loneliness that Danny didn’t know what to do with.

“C’mon, out,” Danny says to Eddie as he lets him out the back door, heading to the coffee maker to brew himself some coffee. He’s also contemplating the pack of Thin Mints he’d managed to avoid all week when there’s a knock at the door.

When he opens it too see Steve, his whole body just. Short circuits.

Steve smiles softly. “Hey.”

“What - why…” Danny tries to say, taking in the fact that Steve hasn’t shaved and his duffel bag looks like it’s been through a monsoon and Steve’s here, in the flesh, not miles away on the other end of the phone. 

“I’m back,” he says. 

“Well I can see that,” Danny finally spits out, flourishing a hand. “Last time you called you said you didn’t know when you’d be back and now you’re standing there like you just got out of some jungle.”

“No jungles,” Steve says with a little shake of his head, stepping inside the door and dropping his things. 

“Why…” Danny lets the door swing shut. “What…”

The quick and fierce hug surprises Danny, Steve’s arms so tight around him they make Danny’s breath catch. It takes him a moment to reciprocate, to get his hands onto Steve’s back and dig his fingers in for purchase.

All things considered it mostly feels the same, and Steve doesn’t smell like planes and people and distance.

Danny’s not sure how long they would have stayed there for if Eddie hadn’t come bounding in barking his head off, jumping on Steve and demanding attention. Steve cries and coos at him, gets to his knees to give Eddie big hugs and belly rubs, burying his face in his fur.

Danny just stands there like a beached fish. Opening his mouth to talk, shutting it. Trying to process.

“Yeah buddy, I missed you too, have you been good, huh, you been taking care of Danno?”

“Uh, I think that’s the wrong way around,” Danny protests, finding his voice, and it’s only a small lie.

Steve just laughs, staying on the floor to reach over for his bag and open it up. “Got something for you,” he says, and Danny’s not sure if he’s talking to him or the dog until Steve stands up and proffers some things at Danny. Some envelopes and a gift bag that had become flattened in Steve’s so-called luggage. 

“What’s this?”

“It’s for you, from your family.”

Danny’s hands shake as he takes a proper look at the items - his mum’s looping handwriting on the front of an envelope,  _ Daniel _ . “My … my family?”

“I stayed with your folks. And spent time with your sisters.”

“But … why didn’t you tell me?”

“I donno, man. I just wanted you to be okay, and I … it felt wrong to go on about it all over the phone. I wanted to share it with you when we were back together, y’know?”

Part of Danny thinks he does understand. But a bigger, hungrier part of him just really, really doesn’t. “Why didn’t you just wait for me?” he hears himself ask, voice raspier than he was expecting. Steve’s eyes widen at the question.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you just wait until I was better? Huh? Then we could have gone together. We could’ve seen Chin and Kono, and stayed with my family, and I could’ve met all your Navy friends and we could have done it  _ together _ . Was the problem me, did you need to get away from me? Why couldn’t you just wait?”

“I didn’t think you’d want to come!” Steve snaps back, putting a hand up when Eddie gives them a little growl. “And I thought it was selfish to ask you. The kids are here, and I didn’t know how long I’d be gone, and - ”

“I’m a big boy, Steven, I can make those choices for myself!”

“Well I didn’t want to force the decision on you!”

“And I didn’t want you to leave, but you didn’t let me decide on that did you?”

This time, Steve doesn’t bite back at Danny’s words. His whole face softens and he steps up close to get his hands on Danny’s shoulders. Danny’s hands are still shaking, and he can’t quite meet Steve’s gaze. Steve’s always seen right through him, but Danny’s never been so honest with his feelings. At least not these ones. 

“Danny.”

Danny gives a little shake of his head, “Don’t.”

“Danny,” Steve says again, softer, and this time Danny does look up. “I swear, if I’d thought for a moment you’d want to come with me I never would have gone alone.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’ve been told.”

Danny’s not sure if the kiss surprises him more than the hug did. It’s quiet, and gentle, and just a simple press of lips, Steve’s beard tickling at Danny’s chin. Danny closes his eyes and breathes through his nose and tries really hard not to drop the things he’s holding.

“Um,” he says when Steve pulls away, blinking his eyes open. Steve’s not smiling but he looks open, content.

“Was that … okay?” he asks hesitantly, hands still on Danny but giving him space if he needs it.

Danny decides, fuck it, and throws the gifts aside to reach in for Steve again. It’s a little more urgent this time, Steve’s mouth opening for him, tongue wet and warm as it twists against Danny’s, touches at his teeth, his lips, pushes for more.

They end up in another tight embrace, Danny almost on his tippy-toes as he wraps his arms around Steve’s neck and buries his face in Steve’s throat and chest, breathing him in.

“You’re never leaving again,” he tells Steve, feeling Steve’s hands dig harder into his shoulders, his back. “Not without me.”

“Never,” Steve echoes, and it sounds more like a promise than anything ever has.

"I just couldn't… you're it for me, Steve. And maybe it was good that you went because I realised what life without you was and I … I don't want it.  _ You're it _ ."

"Yes, yeah Danny." Steve presses a kiss to the top of Danny's head, somehow gathering him more into his arms. Danny feels safe and loved and right for the first time since Steve left. "I love you," Steve says, like he has so many times before, but this time Danny can feel the knocking beat of Steve’s heart in his chest.

He’s here.

They’re together. 

The way it should be. 

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://thefancyspin.tumblr.com)


End file.
